I Really Didn’t Mean To Be The Saviour Of The World

Chapter 661: Chapter 415: Have I Failed? (5200 words, seeking monthly votes and subscriptions)_2

These people had tightly bound his heart and future together, making them inseparable.

He was no longer purely a 21st-century person; he would be more desperate, fearful, anxious, and guilty than any of the subjects in the Oxford Professor’s questionnaire.

Others’ doomsday was hypothetical, but his was real.

He couldn’t afford to be indifferent to something that didn’t concern him, which is why he was in pain.

He would always think that despite so many people, generation after generation of struggle and effort, they would still have to face the doomsday when their vitality is completely cut off.

Everyone would die – all of them would be mercilessly erased from existence.

Despite our best efforts.

But our enemies are too strong, and behind them lies an unimaginable force.

What…what can I do?

I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. I’ve let everyone down.

This time…I failed in my time travel!

Sometimes, having a good memory and not being able to forget is a great sorrow.

The essence of forgetting need not be reiterated, but its significance to a person is not just the loss of certain memories, but also a self-protection ability of humanity.

The things that are easiest to forget, the most unstable quantum spiral structures in the brain, are the things that cause pain.

Under the subtle influence of emotional needs, these painful quantum spirals forming memories will continue to be impacted and dissipate at a faster rate.

But Harrison Clark’s memory grew stronger and his ability to forget weakened as his Gene awakening degree increased.

He would remember good things, but he would also remember painful experiences.

Harrison could clearly sense that, as his Gene awakening degree increased, in addition to the physical changes, his brain’s memory, logical analysis ability, and thinking agility were constantly improving, as well as his ability to perceive pain and happiness.

However, pain is more deeply ingrained in memory. When most people recall their childhood, the images that come to mind are mostly those of sadness and anger.

Happy memories always seem to be fleeting and elusive.

Thus, as memory improves, the emotional impact of pain becomes more intense.

Confronting this increasingly intense emotional impact requires a greater willpower in the human race.

Willpower is a mysterious thing.

It often changes with people’s knowledge, the level of information they possess, and their experiences and is also based on their current worldview and the historical accumulation of their entire civilization.

Harrison gradually realized something.

No wonder humans in the 21st century could only awaken 25% of their genes.

This is clearly a form of innate biological self-preservation.

When unable to bear the burden, humans shouldn’t have such abilities.

A weaker species getting too powerful a mental ability too soon may not necessarily lead to a better future.

Instead, there is a higher chance of widespread psychological collapse in the species, which would trigger the collapse of civilization.

Suppose there was a second ‘native’ in the 21st century with the same degree of awakening and mental abilities as him. Forget about achieving something, the pain accumulated in their heart from their extraordinary memory might instantly cause them to have a mental breakdown and turn into a madman.

Harrison could hold on because he had been to the future many times and slowly grew up, or perhaps he had some innate talent for endurance.

However, even individuals with the strongest willpower need time to alleviate negative emotions; it is not possible to deceive oneself by saying ‘I’m fine’ and really be okay.

At this moment, Harrison could no longer control himself and suddenly grabbed his head with both hands, vigorously rubbing his hair.

He was in unspeakable loss and sadness.

He took out his notebook filled with the “Five Hundred Year Plan” and looked at the words he had etched into the wood with force.

Harrison took a deep breath, and his thoughts clashed in his mind. He constantly deduced and calculated, trying to deceive himself with a conclusion. He wanted to lie to himself and tell himself that as long as he strictly followed the “500-Year Plan,” he would definitely be successful.

However, after a long while, he furiously threw the notebook forward.

Thump!

The thick book hit the big screen TV in front of him.

Harrison looked up to the sky, his hands shaking uncontrollably.

It was impossible. They were doomed to lose.

I can’t deceive myself.

It’s all my fault. If I had just worked harder, fought harder, maybe we would have succeeded?

I didn’t do enough.

I…I am a sinner!

His eyes were sore, and his heart was filled with indescribable sadness.

His mind couldn’t help but imagine the scenes of humanity’s defeat and extinction a thousand years later.

At that moment, the bedroom door opened, and Carrie Thomas, wearing men’s pajamas, walked in.

She didn’t notice Harrison at first, as she was looking down and mumbling some melody.

Then she looked up and saw Harrison’s ashen, crazed face. Alarmed, she rushed forward, asking, “What happened to you?”

Harrison’s lifeless eyes slowly turned towards Carrie’s face.

Looking at her concerned expression, there was a gradual return of vitality in his gaze.

He took a deep breath and spoke slowly in a tone of sadness incomprehensible to others, “Carrie, I failed. My time travel failed. I didn’t go back. I lost my ability to travel through time and change the future. I…we are doomed. In a thousand years, humanity will be no more.”

Seeing this rare and incredibly defeated appearance of Harrison, Carrie was stunned for a long time.