Kitsune in the Shadows

Chapter 56 – Why am I Hesitating?

It’s cold…

…

My arms started searching around me, instinctually looking for a source of warmth.

Where?…

After a while of not finding anything, I reluctantly opened my eyes. The sun was just peeking up over the horizon as I lay there in bed, just like any other morning. But this time, there was something missing.

“Umbra?…” I called out, my voice a little hoarse.

No response.

Where did you go?

The last few days had felt a little different. Well, it was mainly Raynelle who had been acting a little differently. She’d been strangely eager to take me to train, but as soon we would arrive at the guild, it seemed like her mind was elsewhere. And now, Umbra was nowhere to be found even though I know I went to sleep with them yesterday.

Not knowing what to do, I just got myself dressed. I picked out a nice dress, similar to the first one I had received from Raynelle and Ava, though bigger and with fewer frills. At some point, I just felt that they didn’t really suit me very much.

Right as I finished fastening the dress and pulled my tail through the flap, Umbra crawled out from my shadow. Almost immediately, I leaned down and lifted them up, assuming they had decided to show themselves just to get their usual pats.

“What were you doing in there? It isn’t like you to hide away like that.”

As I brought them closer, I noticed that there was something in their mouth. A small folded piece of paper being held carefully between their teeth, almost as if making sure not to damage it in anyway.

“What’s this?”

To my surprise, as soon as I brought my hand closer to try and take the paper out of Umbra’s mouth they just dropped it into my palm.

“*Yip*”

“… Is this… for me?” I asked, a bit confused by the gesture.

“*Yip*”

…

I don’t know what else I expected you to say.

…

I just unfolded the note, hoping to get some answers.

‘Hello there! I’ve been wanting to talk for a while now. Been a few years I think, hard to remember with everything else going on. Unfortunately, that isn’t possible right now, but this is a good first step if I’ve ever seen one. Now, to make things nice and simple, can you please hand this note to one of the twin Goddesses? They’ll understand, alright? Great talking to you and all that. -JD’

What? JD? Who is JD?

They know about the Goddesses?

They know that I know them?

…

But… I haven’t told anyone.

Somehow, the message wasn’t even the strangest part of the note. The letters themselves seemed to wobble slightly as if they were struggling to stay in place. There were even what looked to be the faint outlines of extra words just behind the legible ones.

“Umbra, where did you-?” I stopped myself, realising that I wouldn’t get an answer from them.

What do I-?

Right at that moment, I heard the faint sound of footsteps coming from behind my door. Before I could think things through, I handed the note to Umbra so that they could hide it in my shadow, which they gladly did.

Are they already awake?

But they’re never awake this early…

Did something happen?!

Not wanting to jump to any conclusions, I put my ear up to the door and listened.

“Is she awake?” It was faint, but I could tell it was Raynelle’s voice.

“I don’t think so,” Ava responded, “Wouldn’t she have come out of her room if she was?”

“But she’s always awake early when she’s going to the temple. She normally wakes us up.”

“But you’ve been pushing her at training lately, right? Maybe she’s just exhausted from it?”

“But it’s never stopped her before. I don’t see why it would today of all days.”

There was a brief pause.

“Should I go wake her?” Ava asked.

“We probably should… if we wait too long, we won’t be able to do this before she wants to head out.”

Without anything else being said, I heard the footsteps rapidly getting closer. I don’t know why, but at that moment, I felt a small surge of fear. It wasn’t like I had done anything wrong, but it still felt like I was doing something I wasn’t supposed to.

Without thinking, I jumped back into bed, pulling the covers over me just before the door opened.

They didn’t hear me, did they?

…

“Kierra?” Ava was the one to call out.

I didn’t open my eyes, trying to sell the idea that I was asleep.

“It’s time to wake up little fox.”

Little fox?!

Every time Ava called me that, I couldn’t help but feel a little combative. It wasn’t my fault that I had barely grown in the last year… My growing pains just suddenly stopped, and I stopped growing along with it. That should be a good thing!

…

Despite what was going through my head, I managed to keep my eyes and mouth closed.

…

…

Nothing. Nothing at all.

Did they already give up?

…

Did they leave?

…

Was my acting that good?

…

…

No matter how long I waited, there was just silence.

What’s happening?

Somewhat reluctantly, I opened one eye just enough to get a peek at what was going on. However, all that greeted me was a bright purple eye staring right back at me, making me jump a little.

“So you’re pretending to sleep now?” Ava asked, “Unfortunately, you can’t trick me, little fox. You’re a little too easy to read with the way your ears twitch.”

…

“I’m not little…” I sheepishly let out while blushing.

“Yeah, yeah. You can say that once you’re taller than me,” Ava chuckled, “Now get up. We’ve got something for you before you head out today.”

Not saying anything else, I clumsily slid myself out of bed.

“Oh, you’re already dressed? That’s even better! Now, get out there. Mom is probably beside herself waiting for you,” Ava gave me a light push towards the door as she spoke.

It seemed I had no choice in the matter, as Ava kept nudging me forward until I was standing out in the corridor.

“Kierra!” Raynelle called out from the main room, “What are you doing over there? Come sit. Come sit.”

The excitement in Raynelle’s voice was almost infectious. I quickly made my way over and sat down next to Raynelle at the table; Ava followed closely behind, choosing to sit on the other side of me. In the centre of the table, there was a large cake, along with two boxes, one small and narrow, the other large and flat.

I expected either Raynelle or Ava to say something first, to explain what was going on, but instead, they just looked at me expectantly.

“What is… this?” I asked.

“A celebration!” Raynelle responded immediately, the smile on her face only seeming to grow, “Your celebration!”

My celebration? For what?

What did I-?

“It’s been exactly two years since we took you in,” Ava said, clearly noticing my confusion, “I know we didn’t celebrate it last year, but we just wanted to do something this time, alright?”

They did all this… for me?

They didn’t have to… really… but…

“Thank you…”

“Wait! Don’t say thank you yet!” Raynelle called out, reaching for the boxes on the table, “Say thank you after you’ve got your presents, that’s the right order to do this in.”

Raynelle took the smaller box and handed the other, larger box, to Ava.

“I’ll go first,” Raynelle said, handing me her box, “Go on, open it!”

Seeing the look on her face, I just couldn’t turn her down. I slid the top off the box. Inside was a knife nestled on some sort of plush lining, almost being presented like jewellery. Both the blade and handle were a deep black. Even when tilting the box slightly, the blade didn’t catch the light. Carefully lifting it up, I could feel something on the other side. Turning it over, I saw the name ‘Kierra’ engraved into the handle, surrounded by intricate motifs.

Before I could even say anything, Raynelle started speaking.

“It’s never a bad idea to have a good knife on you. It could save your life, or it might just live on your belt and be used to peel fruit… but for this… I wanted it to mean a little more…” She paused for a bit, “I still remember that day you gave us a heart attack… when you somehow worked up the courage to finally tell us your name… I hope that by having your name engraved on this knife that you carry with you… it will help remind you of your courage that day… To give you that little push if ever you need it.”

…

I didn’t know how to respond. Even when I saw the knife, I had just thought Raynelle had gotten it for me because she noticed that I preferred using knives for our training. I didn’t expect it to come with such a heartfelt message attached. But that wasn’t a bad thing.

“I… thank you…” I carefully placed the knife back into its box to keep it safe, “It’s… almost a shame I’m not wearing a belt to put it on right now…”

“Oh come on now, you don’t have to worry about something like that. If you want to keep your knife on you in a dress, we can go have a thigh sheath made for you at some point. Just knowing you want to keep it is more than enough for me right now, okay?”

“Okay,” I responded, feeling a little better thanks to her words.

“Then is it my turn now?” Ava got up from the table with her box in hand, “What are you doing? Come stand in front of me.”

Now that I was getting a little swept up in the energy, I immediately did as I was told.

“Now, close your eyes for me.”

As soon as I closed my eyes, I heard the sound of a box being opened, followed by a slight weight being placed on my shoulders.

“Now I just need to…” I heard Ava move around to the front of me before fiddling with something, “And we’re done! You can open your eyes now.”

Opening my eyes, I saw the cloak that had been draped over my shoulders. Just like the knife, it was a deep black. The material itself felt very high quality, but by far, the most interesting part was the mass of feathers decorating the collar.

“Unfortunately, unlike Mom, I don’t have any deep reasoning as to why I got you this. Just thought you could do with a new cloak instead of using whatever we had lying around. For the feathers… I just noticed that even after all this time, you still like to stare at my wings… So I made sure to keep any of the softer ones when moulting season came around and worked with Ana to get this done in time,” She said with a smirk, “Ah, and there is a hood. I just tucked it under the feathers so it didn’t get in the way.”

…

“Thank you… It’s… pretty…” I said, running my hand through the feathers.

“Now that’s much better,” Raynelle patted my head as she stood up, “That’s when you’re supposed to say thank you.”

All three of us burst out laughing at her comment and it took a surprising amount of time for us to eventually calm down.

“Anyway… now that we’ve done all this… there’s something I wanted to ask you, Kierra,” Raynelle knelt down.

Is there more?

Isn’t this already enough? Maybe even too much?

“Both I and Ava spoke about it a bit… but… how would you feel about making today your… birthday?” Before I even had a chance to respond, she put her hands up, saying, “I don’t want to force you or anything. We were just thinking about how you didn’t have one last year… and thought that maybe you weren’t sure when it was, or maybe you just didn’t want to tell us. It’s just… if you want it to be your birthday… it seemed like a good option… Again, I don’t want to force you into this or anything, y’know?”

My… Birthday…

…

I hadn’t really thought about it before; there were just always other things that were more important, and by the time I was taken in by Raynelle and Ava, it had already completely slipped my mind.

…

It would be the same day as the day they found me…

I…

…

Why am I even hesitating?

“Yes…” I said, holding back my tears so as not to ruin the moment, “I would like… today to be my birthday.”

Right as the words had left my mouth, the two of them shared a glance before shouting in unison, “Happy sixteenth birthday, Kierra!”

Before I could say anything else to them, Raynelle pulled the cake towards us.

“Now, let’s quickly get some food in you and head out,” She said, “Don’t want to keep you from the temple too long.”