Nexus Awakened (An Isekai LitRPG Gender Bender Story)

816. 14 Years Ago – False Guilt



816. 14 Years Ago – False Guilt

Jury recalled meeting with an Angel with three tails. The innocent smile and childish glee of finding a person who looked just like her quickly turned into despair.

Fresh, excruciating pain filled her body.

But Jury could not scream, nor could her memories reveal anything save for the darkness behind her eyelids. However, she could feel herself strapped down to a metal table. Around her were the whimpers of people who suffered the same fate, each strapped down to their own tables or chained to walls.

The current Jury was in the body of her infant self, left to experience the agony she had long forgotten.

I… when did this happen? I can remember a labyrinth of chains. Demons were here too, held captive in chains. But for what? Why was I here…?

Suddenly, a voice interrupted her train of thought.

It belonged to who she believed was Uriel.

[Uriel]

“Eyes. Tongue. Cheeks. Ribs. No sign of wings. Her spinal fluid carries a higher potency when compared with the New World Angels, so that can be of use. Her Adam’s Apple is not developed yet, so Serum S can’t be produced for the Wandering Healers.”

 

[???]

“What do we do with her then if she’s of no use? She’s not even a Healer. That thing dares share the same hair as my dearest sister?”

 

The second voice clearly belonged to a man, but to whom exactly was lost to her.

 

[Uriel]

“She has more uses than I can count. There is one thing I have yet to check.”

 

Then, Jury’s mind wretched. Bolts of electricity flashed in the darkness of her mind as her limbs thrashed against her restraints. Seconds later, the pain became so unbearable that her body gave up as though declaring her dead.

[Uriel]

“The tail of an Angel holds special properties. Each corresponds to the power of the progenitor. This one’s a key most important in creating our perfect rose.”

 

Another voice then spoke.

 

[???]

“So it’s this one. Not quite the ‘Original’, but the body is the same. She serves as the first chapter of that girl’s tale in this world.”

 

It belonged to a woman, and they spoke in an airy, supercilious dialect as though they were a higher being.

[Uriel]

“Enough with the talk of chapters...”

 

[???]

“But isn’t it through tales where our origins are derived from? Life cannot exist without a spark of inspiration. Originally does not come from here. Certainly not from Elysia. The Authors are no different. We will repeat the tale sung and heralded eons before. This one contains a sufficient amount of ‘Light’, so she is already worthwhile. But letting her have free reign over that Light will be problematic. An uncorroded ‘Elysia’ would be quite a nightmare scenario for us.”

 

[Uriel]

“Should we use that then?”

 

[???]

“Yes. Begin corroding her and locate a Corrupted for her to merge with. Qliphoth is the same no matter the form it takes, be it the impurities of cognition or a husk to obscure the Light. I’m surprised, Uriel. You of all Angels should despise Qliphoth.”

 

[Uriel]

“I’ve lost my reason to despise it. It’s become a necessity for my Broken Thorn.”

 

[???]

“But one day, you will use it in attempt to eliminate me. I know your kind better than you do.”

 

[Uriel]

“…”

 

[???]

“Our goals merely align for now. Qliphoth will conceal her Light and reduce her to a husk. But her body composition will remain, so that when the time comes...”

 

Finally, the man spoke again.

 

[???]

“Her tail will be harvested. I know of a Corrupted near my promised Kingdom of Puritas. They call its vacated lands the ‘Black Forest’. It’s self-explanatory. That brings me to ask: what makes this thing’s tail special?”

 

[Uriel]

“It will be our key, be it for the creation of the perfect rose or to unlock the depths of Deep Time. It must neither be too mature nor infant. Thus, it is to be harvested before the ticking begins. Only then will it be useful and uncontaminated.”

 

[???]

“Aah. To the Ancient of Days when the first River once ran in earnest beneath our world. Evelyn knew of a child that looked like an older version of this one with that fabled ticking. To draw out one’s potential with an extended hand. How pretentious. People should be able to achieve that on their own. Is that not your wish, Prince Iscario?”

 

[Iscario]

“As it has always been.”

 

* * *

The Qliphoth Corrosion was a method to obscure Jury’s Light. It became proof of her impurity, and that she was closer to the condemned Elysia than she was to being herself.

A fragment of my memories. I… can’t blame myself for forgetting. I didn’t know I was…

What they did to her allowed her to become a Denizen of the One Thousand Eyed Bird. A prisoner with no rational thought, no memories, no heart or mind. The agony of the process she endured without eyes to see, a tongue to scream, or hands to hold onto destroyed everything that Jury was.

Jury lost her ability to speak. It became beyond broken. The token of her impurity remained with her for as long as she could remember, but only now did Jury realize that it was bestowed upon her.

She found herself stuck in the Black Forest again as the little Jury who repeated the same phrase over and over.

“Run! Run! There’s a big skewered beast inside of the Black Forest!”

Her broken, rearranged words were but the remnants of a Jury who once experienced freedom. The clawed hand which was used to grapple trees and clean her body became a tool of fear. The faint kindness of the old Jury compelled her to warn others, but her physical composition and her existence as an imprisoned Corrupted could only allow her to do so much.

It was a mercy that I wasn’t aware of myself during those 12 years. But I remember them. All of it. Every passing day… every face I’ve saved, and every person I’ve failed. All people who return from Corruption do. It’s but a temporary respite in the moment, but hell afterwards. I…

Jury froze before the headlights of a thousand golden eyes. The One Thousand Eyed Bird stared down at her judgingly as she brought up her left hand with tears streaming down her eyes.

“How can you judge me… for this sin… for something I never did. How am I guilty for the sin of someone else? They did this to me, but they will never go unpunished.”

The darkness pervading her left hand steadily – like the first stars of the even – was riddled with small patches of light.

The hypocrisy of the birds drove her to her emotional limits. Jury was not like the others who were driven by pure emotion. But here, even though she was restrained as a Corrupted, felt herself breaking free from her shackles like a flame brimming within a wax box.

“I was born normal. I was never tainted from the start. But they did this to me. I… struggled to accept myself for so long. I thought I was cursed from birth. An abnormality. A Corrupted… born from nothing but thoughts…”

< Your Emotional State Has Risen to the First State >

 

The message that everyone but her had received in the past finally appeared for her. The light encased her left hand, cracking through the darkness. A layer of the shadows disappeared. More continued to peel away as Jury gazed into the eyes of the One Thousand Eyed Bird, which then morphed into the Listening Bird, and then, she found herself standing beneath the crimson gaze of the Castigation Bird.

< Your Emotional State Has Risen to the Second State >

“I’ve been afraid of figuring out what I am. But now that I know all I can feel is hatred! Is this how you felt, Frost? How they have always made you feel? I… didn’t know it would hurt this much. Why… is it always us that has to suffer!?”

< Your Emotional State Has Risen to the Third State >

The Qliphoth Corrosion that devoured her left hand – that left it as a cursed, hideous claw – glowed like one of the stars of the night sky. With the stars concealed, it became the only star present. Its glow could be seen from everywhere like a beacon of light, far brighter than the luminescence above the clock tower, and even rivaling the light above Primus Ramus.

“I never wanted to hurt people! Even now I’m reluctant to administer punishment to people who I know were in the wrong! I want to be loved! I wanted to be loved… But even just by being me, I would’ve faced trouble. My teeth are weird. My eyes are different. My ears aren’t like a human’s. I have a tail, and my hair’s white.”

Jury was right. Even without the Qliphoth Corrosion or becoming the Denizen of the One Thousand Eyed Bird, then she would have been despised by countless for these things. Things that only those closest to her could love.

//////// < WARNING > ////////

 

< Your emotions are still rapidly Heightening! >

 

< Your Emotional State Has Risen to the Fourth State >

 

Jury’s mind was hell bent on one thing – revenge for the injustice she suffered. Small, faint traces of the Qliphoth Corrosion remained on her left hand. Such a light could never remove it, but even so, the glow of the incandescent light consumed it however temporarially.

Her eyes glowed with the same light as she stood beneath the eye with the still-frozen Galia. Every ounce of her hatred, her suffering, and her misery was condensed into a singular granule of Light that took form in the fist of her left hand.

//////// < EXTREME WARNING > ////////

 

< Your Emotional State Has Risen to the Fifth State >

 

//////// < WARNING > ////////

 

< CORRUPTION IMMINENT – >

 

“NO!” Jury cried out at the top of her lungs. “I WILL NOT CORRUPT!”

Her sheer certainty, and her absolute conviction born from the immense emotional toll of her past form a power that had only ever been seen once before.

“I won’t Corrupt! I can’t now… I, of all of us, can’t be the one to Corrupt!”

< Accumulated Nex has been converted into the appropriate quantity of Light. The process is unknown, but your emotional surge has created Light… No, not just Light. Jury… this is…! >

 

“Absolution.” Galia’s voice suddenly cut in.


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